How many times in your life have you felt personally affronted, offended or disappointed insomeone's actions to the point where an apology seemed to be necessary? Sometimes an apology seems important at the time but the incident fades in time to the point where the incident is forgotten and the need for an apology fades with it.
Other times, it is felt that an apology is so critical that the relationship cannot continue until the apology is delivered and a suitable apology at that, not just any half-hearted apology. So apology can be simple but not always easy. The question always arises, “How do I respond to another's transgressions?” Do I pretend that I don't see it? Do I turn away from it? Do I ignore it? These are questions that we can't ignore and there are no simple answers. But if we find ourselves hanging on to negative emotions we can always make the choice to let them go.
At that moment all of it was too heavy, the weight of it all totally overwhelmed me and as I like knelt beside her, hate, anger, frustration, and bitterness filled my heart against her. when she asked for my forgiveness which I never expecting at all. I rose up my hand and ask to Allah "You've got to be kidding! it was my faults. I don't even deserve her forgiveness. That was very difficult for me! I struggled for quite awhile and try to get of the grid or I despised everything about her. Yes "people" I know, that was the beginning of the healing but rejection causes the deepest wound. The wounds caused by others to our soul are deep and very painful, especially when those wounds are undeserved. And, believe me, there will be many during your lifetime. But it wasn't her faults why should she asked for my forgiveness. I ripped her heart out betrayed our friendship and I lost the best thing ever in my life.
But what I've learned from this situation right now, forgiveness is not the hard part. The hard part is struggle that comes with every moment onwards. For now I dont know to do either. Again there were a lot questions on my mind left unanswered as to how I could ever earn her trust again? Do I still love her? Do I need a second chance? Do I want a second chance? Does she's everything I've ever wanted? or Does she's just want to say sorry and that's it?.
When I present my feelings now I just want to say sorry to her seemed to have deeply hurt by my stupidity. I'm sorry that I live to far away to truley be comfort for her. I'm sorry that she is everything I look for in a woman and a friend. I'm sorry my heart yearns at the very thought of her. For all of this I am sorry. I was an awful friend to her but the truth remain unchanged, I just was unable to hide my feelings towars her. to be continue.......
1 comments:
to say sorry; asking for forgiveness - is one thing.
to forgive someone - is another different thing.
appreciate the person who put effort to step out & and say that simple yet complicated word. It's ain't easy tho esp if that person hv to struggle with ego & the feeling "why me to feel sorry" and what not.and for the time she took is not a short period time tho; not a blink of an eyes ok. For me, she deserves to be appreciated.And the most valid point is she did nothing wrong!
To forgive her...do you think you deserve/in the right position to forgive her? Did she hurt you? I mean, did she started the "incident" at the 1st place? I guess the answer is no rite.
And what you jot here is actually right...
"it wasn't her faults why should she asked for my forgiveness."
Anyways, what's past is past.
Think for what you already plan & mop up the past unfortunate issues off from your life.
Learn from your mistakes & stand firm on what you aim for you life.
Hope you both will clear to each other & move on with the smiles on your face...
Looking ahead for the happiness!..there is so much more to treasure out there and keep your friendship alive!
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