Fahr Farms Inc.

Assalamu'alikum....

This is first time i talk about my girlfriends since i've been blogging....WHy becoz now! we faced truly difficult time together. I'm trying not to point is all about her faults or ma faults. Time and feelings change. Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost a 3 years now. And she just happened to tell me now that i alwiz ignored her. Yeah certainly i did..But actually i really bothered by something i really don't know and unsure. I guess she felt weirded out and insecure about the situation. I'm also afraid she couldnt lasted and she might want to leave me...i have to stop right here...my eyes begin to tears up if i further up more.....shits!! I don't undestand. I don't understand why. I don't know what to think, what to feel, how to act, how to react.I don't understand and I'm so confused right now. How is it that just 24 hours before I was writing up in a blog, feeling good about myself, and right now I don't even know what just happened? How is this my fault? What did I do to even deserve this?

crap!!! i would like to say this....

Sometime have a good day and sometime have a bad day, things happen, shit happens, good things happen. For the same event, a lot of people would feel different things, Just because something good happened, doesn't mean everyone will be happy about it. And vice versa, not everyone feels bad when shitty things happen. For example, if shit happens to people that I don't really like, such as a certain motivator, I would be jumping up and down for joy. But that's just me.

I like it when things are out in the open. I like to know that I can trust you and my friends. I like to be able to be comfortable in my own skin and not feel like the pair of jeans in your closet that you only wear when you have absolutely NOTHING else to wear. I like being needed, but I don't like being used. I especially don't like feeling I'm the dirt beneath some else's shoes. I hate knowing that there are so many people in my life that fits into "that" description, in one way or another. I hate knowing there are so many people NOT in my life who also fit into "that" description. Whatever "that" is, dear reader, is something that I cannot be bothered to explain.

-fer-