Fahr Farms Inc.

assalamu'alaikum...

I'm just so tired and alone right now, I really want to flight and going any where....sheshhh!! After a serious, several-years-long relationship failed, I was devastated. I was sure that I would never find a love like that again, but times and feeling change. I gave up looking. I was emotionally exhausted and discouraged and had decided that love wasn't meant to happen. Suddenly a few days ago, I was found the most wonderful girl. We not really connected instantly but we have been talk something unusual, but like I said in previous entries *she might just simply say something and mean the exact opposite or just mean nothing*, and I really trapped on this fantasies...shessh!!!

I noticed this kind of thing happened because I get wrapped up with ' loneliness' and I simply followed my heart with no directions. I hate to feel something like this for example avoiding, hoping and the most horibble thing I don't even have appetite to take meals. Omigosh! ahh!! this is totally insane! DAMN! I broke my rules...shessh!! The reality is I should not have dreamed anyone so perfect like 'this' and opposites don't attract as much as finding similarities does. errr!!!

I dont believe I had (correction,have) a crush on a girl in a few days only. It was pretty much a “crush-at-first-sight” thing,really! I hate this feeling*in love*. Wanted me to say I love you, I miss you, I'm waiting for you, I'm sorry. It just makes me feel anxious.....ah! Crap!!

I need to reach Dublin before middle of feb so that I can go to UK before the winter ends!! Aaaackkk! hopefully dyra is gonna come and visit me ( ko bnyak duit kat makcik) so maybe we can go there together :)...

~fir~