frendzz,
I actually hide so much from the world and sometimes there are so many things I want to say in a blog but can’t because I have readers who know me and will say things to me.I have had obsessive thoughts sometimes, but they come and go but take a different forms. When everytime I start to write a wall in my head comes up like slow me down and I can’t write. I feel terrible most of the time. I am sure you have all noticed my absence here lately.I just don’t typically feel up to “putzing” on my blog.
I am so lonely. I don’t know why. I have lots of casual acquaintances but I just don’t feel like I have any friends here or anymore. I sit and obsess, trying to figure out what kind of personality flaws I must have that keep driving people away from me. I just don’t see it.
All I do is study and I don’t even like what I am doing. Truth is, I don’t really want to do anything at all or I guess anything that resembles work.
I just feel like am at a low point and I need to turn it back around because I hate feeling like this.No one understands me!No one wants me!
I just know I am going to end up becoming the antithesis of what I want to be. I am going to get the antithesis of what I desire in life.I don't know what the deal is, I try and I fail. That's the way it goes. I feel like no matter what I do I am letting someone down. All I want to do is be happy with life. I have spent years trying to fix this, I came to the conclusion that I am a pessimist (and im ok with that), but ive been told by others that it isnt ok, and I need to change *just another way of letting someone down* oh well, I know what the end is.
You don’t have to respond to this.I just needed to get this out of my system and down in words because I can’t let it keep floating around in my head anymore.
~fir is fail~
I actually hide so much from the world and sometimes there are so many things I want to say in a blog but can’t because I have readers who know me and will say things to me.I have had obsessive thoughts sometimes, but they come and go but take a different forms. When everytime I start to write a wall in my head comes up like slow me down and I can’t write. I feel terrible most of the time. I am sure you have all noticed my absence here lately.I just don’t typically feel up to “putzing” on my blog.
I am so lonely. I don’t know why. I have lots of casual acquaintances but I just don’t feel like I have any friends here or anymore. I sit and obsess, trying to figure out what kind of personality flaws I must have that keep driving people away from me. I just don’t see it.
All I do is study and I don’t even like what I am doing. Truth is, I don’t really want to do anything at all or I guess anything that resembles work.
I just feel like am at a low point and I need to turn it back around because I hate feeling like this.No one understands me!No one wants me!
I just know I am going to end up becoming the antithesis of what I want to be. I am going to get the antithesis of what I desire in life.I don't know what the deal is, I try and I fail. That's the way it goes. I feel like no matter what I do I am letting someone down. All I want to do is be happy with life. I have spent years trying to fix this, I came to the conclusion that I am a pessimist (and im ok with that), but ive been told by others that it isnt ok, and I need to change *just another way of letting someone down* oh well, I know what the end is.
You don’t have to respond to this.I just needed to get this out of my system and down in words because I can’t let it keep floating around in my head anymore.
~fir is fail~
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