Fahr Farms Inc.

Omigosh, I haven't updated for quite some time now. Sorry for that, been busy lately. Actually, I still have a bunch of stuff to do for this last week and this week, but I decided to take a break and pen in some stuff before people start complaining again, hahaha. Shut your yappers. If you read my previous entries I decided nak withdraw my dream to study abroad kan?. One of the reason because I do not want to bust my brain. That day I thoughts I just want to concentrate in my life and makes everybody happy. Another things senarnnya malas gila nak change University,lagi2 nak sit for the placement test ARghhh!!! tak sanggup...Sucks! and beberapa hari lepas post entries kata nak withdraw study tuh , banyaknye received emails tanya WHY I want to do that and bla bla bla...., I honestly apperciate the thoughts tak kiralah thru email or comment, tapi unfortunely tak larat nak balas all the emails that I got. Sorry Yer, but thank you so much for your thoughts and concern, Allah je yg dapat balas. But I'm touched that so many people took the time nak bace the entries and then email me to show support.

Anyway, my IELTS preparation is going on pretty slow. My fault, of course, I've been busy with other stuff, lately, to be exact, I've been busy with work and personal stuff. It's supposed to be an easy score at least 5 or 5.5 (tp englishku mcm hampeh!but I'll try my best) and I do not want to mess up and I'm determined to do well, regardless the fact that my Cikgu Englishku is a tad bit more fussy than my school teacher. Never fear, I will prevail. Btw tmorw is the test I should be freaking out more but I'm not, and that's kinda worrying because I know the exam is gonna be hard... plus I have to think about work and something...... So I really should be bucking down and studying, but unfortunately, I'm not. Uh oh....!!!

Wish I have that kind of attitude for everythings. Amazing, there are this that I just wanna give up, but lo and behold, suddenly everything makes perfect sense. And while that's supposed to make me happy, it doesn't, because then I'd feel like the challenge is over and I have nothing to look forward to. Ah, humans, we're never satisfied with anything.

I'm just so confused right as to what I wanna do right now!. As of now I really wanna do is go to study abroad. I want it so bad, it hurts. But looking at my preparation, it's average at best. And I really want it. Yeah, like that's gonna happen. I don't want to sound too much like Gloomy Gus(muram), but that dream seems to be further from my reach day by day. we'll see how everything goes.......

dear someone that I hurt,

mar, did you call me? The voice mail was pretty bad, I had no idea what you said.

~fer~